At around 4:30am today I awoke from my slumber, sat bolt upright and finally knew.
For weeks I have been walking around, trance-like, not knowing what to do, where to go or who to turn. A decision had to be made and I didn't know how to make it, yet as soon as I my eyes opened the decision was made.
As I sat smoking my first cigarette of the day in my bed, in the dark, I knew enough was enough. I no longer wanted to feel like I had been, my mind became clear.