Friday, 22 September 2017

Flash Fiction Friday: There must be an easier way to find a girlfriend

There must be an easier way to find a girlfriend

  As I sat and listened to the answers the women on the other side of the screen answer I couldn't believe my life had come to this, a contestant on a blind date game show. Still listening to the answers, each one sounding even more desperate than the last, I couldn't help but smile to myself.
  Eventually, after all the questions I'd given had been answered, the host turned to me and asked me to make my decision, a decision which would have been easier if he'd asked me whether I'd prefer the lethal injection or firing squad.


Monday, 18 September 2017

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Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Wicked Wednesday: Maid of honour

I know I have posted this one before but I am just trying  to let everybody know that I, JSMorbius, am still alive and trying my hardest to return to where I used to be

Maid of honour

“You wanted to see me, Andrew?”
Lifting my head I stared across the office at Simon, my best friend and accountant for the last ten years.
“I did,” I replied. “Have you seen these figures? There's just something not quite right with them.”
“They looked fine to me when I filed your taxes last month.”
“Strange because I knew something wasn't right, and so had another accountant take a look for me,” I said, before standing up and heading to the drinks cabinet. “Scotch?”
“Just a small one, thanks.”
Pouring his drink I turned and handed him the glass.
“Aren't you having one?”
“No, I fancy a coffee,” I replied, as I pressed the button on my desk. “Coffee for one please.”
A couple of minutes later the door was tapped lightly.
Slowly the door opened and Helena, Simon's long-time fiancee, walked in wearing nothing more than a red and black lace suspender belt, fishnet stockings, red stilletos and a maid's lace headband.
“Thank you.” I said, before turning to Simon. “Have you met my new maid?”
Turning his head, and seeing Helena Simon flew out of his chair.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
“Calm down, Simon, it's not as bad as it looks,” I replied. “Well actually it is. I've noticed my books haven't been right for quite some time so, like I said, I had another accountant look at them.”
“Yes, you said. But why's Helena here and why the fuck is she dressed like that?”
Simon's face was red with rage, and I could see the veins on his neck pulsating as he spoke.
“Well can you imagine my surprise when the other accountant told me someone had been helping themselves to a sizeable chunk of my income over the last few years.”
“That still doesn't explain why my fiance is here, virtually naked and serving you coffee.”
“Well, as you were the only other person with access to my books, that someone had to be you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I would never do that. You're my best friend.”
“That's what I thought so I had a talk with Helena while you were away, on what you said was a stag do, last week and to my surprise she knew nothing about a stag do, but she did know I had given you the weekend off to go away for a romantic weekend. It's just a shame you forgot to take her.”
“But I never touched your damn money,” Simon protested, the colour slowly draing from his face.
“I didn't think you would but, once again, it was Helena who set me straight, telling me about all the lavish meals the two of you had been out on, the clothes and gifts you had been showering her with.”
“helena for god's sake get some fucking clothes on,” Simon demanded as he headed towards the door. “We're leaving. I don't have to put up with this bullshit.”
Lifting her head Helena looked towards me, nervously but I just smiled back at her and nodded.
“Actually, Simon, I'm going nowhere,” Helena said sternly.
“You see Simon I told Helena you'd try to get out of this and told her that, if you walk out of this office, the police will be waiting when you get home and you will be seeing the inside of a prison cell for a very long time.” I told him. “Luckily for you though, Helena begged me not to go to the police, and suggested we came to some sort of agreement to keep you out of prison.”
“That's right,” Helena interjected. “I offered to honour your friendship and help Andrew clear your mess up but, after finding out what you'd done to me, I decided being Andrew's new maid would embarrass you more. The fact I'm virtually naked was my idea.”
“Oh, Simon, by the way,” I chipped in. “You're fired! Now get the fuck off my property.”


New Release! Something Different by Kiki Howell

New Release! Something Different by Kiki Howell! #kindleworlds #paranormaldatingagency #shifters #pnr #witches #werecat

New Release!

Will Sam find her Savior?

Samantha Morgan is an independent witch who owns her own yoga studio. Not at all interested in finding a man for more than a good workout between the sheets, she agrees to a fix up to appease her mother. Enter Gerri Wilder, an old friend of her mother's and owner of the Paranormal Dating Agency. While stories about Gerri's matches are larger than life, Sam thinks she is immune to the woman's gifts in matchmaking.

For Samantha, Gerri tries something different by setting Sam up with Ian Michalson, a wealthy black panther shifter, in order to have her meet a friend of his who is as stubborn as she is when it comes to dating. Gerri claims this mystery man will be her savior, in a metaphorical sense, the one to capture her heart, make her stop fearing love. Only problem is, as she continues to date Ian, a nice enough guy who seems to be more than willing to be in on Gerri's plan, all Sam can do is wonder which of Ian's friends or associates this savior of hers could be, all the while hoping it isn't his bodyguard, Jacob, because her physical attraction to him is dangerously off the charts.

After two weeks of dating Ian, much longer than she ever intended to let this misaligned plan go on, Ian ends up in a war with a rival pride over a business deal. When this rival pride loses the deal, they try to kidnap Sam for revenge and blackmail, thinking her more important to Ian than she is. Yet, it is Jacob, Ian's bodyguard who ends up becoming her literal savior that day. On the run to save her life, one of two things will happen: Sam and Jacob will kill each other in stubborn fights about how to keep her safe, or they will give into whatever has sparked between them.


"Yes, it will, and I know you are looking for something different, and that is what I will be getting you with both men, each in their own way. Trust me."
"I'm not looking for something different. I'm not actually looking at all."
"Which means you are looking for something different. You are done with the dating scene, and so you want something different. What you don't realize is when you find this different, unique if you will, it is then you will fall in love, even if you don't know yet that it's what you are looking for. So, trust me."
I will not, Sam yelled in her own head.
"You keep saying that," Sam protested, "and I'm sure to you that doesn't sound dangerous at all, this trusting you with this crazy idea of dating one guy to meet another. But how is this fair to the first guy? Are you not using him? Isn't this all unethical given you run a dating agency?"
"Yes, in a way, but he owes me anyway. Big time. I will even tell him upfront that it isn't his match, but someone I would like him to meet. I'll even tell him he will be doing me a favor. He won't ask questions. He, unlike you, isn't opposed to playing the field, nor is he opposed to doing a favor for a friend, no matter how extreme the favor may be. He's a good man. This is why I have never had to fix him up yet. He's perfectly content for the time being to be a player. Listen, sweet cheeks, and I'm talking that tight and generous young ass of yours, darling, I know this is one of the craziest, ass-backwards hook-ups I've ever proposed, and I have created some doozies, but I just feel this is the right match, and that this is the only way to make it happen given issues with the other party involved in it. Unconventional? Sure. I'm even breaking one or two of my own rules here. So stop looking at me that way. Yes, I have a few rules. I am a businesswoman, too. But, please, Sam, say you are game to my so-called diabolical plan."
"I would need my head examined to go along with this. It isn't what I signed up for, not that I signed up for anything, but rather was ambushed into it. Regardless of all of that, I was just trying to appease my mom for a bit by agreeing to one date, not some outrageous, and unethical plan to fix me up with one guy in some hopes I will meet another guy around who wouldn't let you fix him up. Hell, maybe I will like the guy. He does sound smart to ignore your intrusions."
When Gerri shrugged, her eyes still sparkling, Sam experienced a sudden wave of exhaustion. Between her two classes this morning, one aerial yoga and the other a power flow class, and now this conversation, it would take a lot more than chocolate cake to wake her up. One glance at her mother's face tugged at her sluggish heart. So, even knowing what it would cost her, she agreed to this string of hellish dates which would force her to go shopping, another drudgery. The cake had better be damn good.
So, she agreed and quickly changed the subject. She figured questioning Gerri about her agency would do the trick. The woman seemed quite the spitfire, so she figured she'd have some amusing tales to tell if she asked her about her most outrageous fix ups to date, beyond hers.
The smell of chocolate filled the air, appeasing the savage beast in her some. With her elbow resting on the counter, she plopped her head into her hand, to listen to tales of romance as her mouth watered, passing the time until she could jam a fork into a piece of cake. While her mother began the ganache and frosting combo she used to layer and ice the cake, Gerri's stories weren't hampered by the mere whirl of the blender. 

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Tuesday, 5 September 2017

Two teases for Tuesday

Back when I used to be able to write I would, every Tuesday, post a 200 word short for a group on Facebook is known as Tantalizing Tuesday Tease.

So today, as I am trying to return to the days of writing, I bring you two of my older teases, both of which come with a little extra bite

Our first date ( A tale from beyond the grave)

As I walked through the cemetery with the sun slowly starting to go down, and the shadows becoming longer, I saw her sitting on the very same polished marble slab I first laid my eyes on her, and where I became instantly intoxicated by her pale beauty.
Looking just as stunning as always in her sleeveless, Gothic mini dress and knee high boots, with five-inch stiletto heels, I walked as quietly as I could and tried to creep up on her. Sabine though seemed to have a sixth sense and, before I was within six feet of her, she turned her head, smiled in my direction and stood up.
“So glad you came,” Sabine said. “It's been so long since I had an actual date.”
“I can't see why. You really are very beautiful,” I replied, turning on the charm.
Not that I didn't mean it, because I did, but because I also knew a little flattery was always appreciated.
“So what do you want to so, Sabine?”
“I'm sure we could think of something,” Sabine whispered, with a smile, before leaning forward, sinking her teeth into my neck and slowly draining every drop of blood from my body.


Double trouble

Having met identical twins Madison and Mckenzie in one of the town's clubs, and having more than a few drinks with them, they had insisted I walked them home. Knowing what the streets were like I agreed and, as they slipped their arms into mine, I let them lead me through town until we finally came to a stop outside what I guessed must be their home.
Grabbing my arms they led me to the front door, before Madison opened it. Turning to me they smiled, before quickly dragging me over the threshold. Leading me into the front room McKenzie went and filled three glasses before coming back, and handing one each to Madison and me.
As soon as the glasses were empty Madison put some music on and, after pushing me on to one of the chairs, the two of them began to strip seductively. Once they were both naked they turned their attention to me. After quickly relieving me of my clothes they dropped to their knees, between my legs. Leaning back I closed my eyes, as the twins took turns licking and sucking my hardness, until I suddenly felt a sharp pain on either side of my shaft.
Lifting my head I looked at the twins, saw the fangs protruding from beneath their lips, and glanced down to see a small bite mark, either side of my hardness.


New Release! Someone Different by Gina Kincade!

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New Release!

Find your next book boyfriend in this new shapeshifter paranormal romance by USA Today Bestselling Author Gina Kincade!

Curvy psychologist—and panther shifter—Tallan Walden gave up on men a long time ago. Fed up with the insults and innuendoes about her size making her an easy target for sex, she's pretty much sworn off them for good. She's happy with her life just the way it is.

That is, until Gerri Wilder sets her up on a blind date. He’s gorgeous, he’s funny, and he’s hot for her generous body. Can he be for real, or is he just a better liar than the others?

Yet even if he’s truly the one—as Gerri promises—there’s one more enormous obstacle. No way can Tallan bring a bear home to meet her species-purist mother.

Will Gerri’s magic touch bring Tallan the happiness she now wants, or is she destined to break the PDA’s winning streak?


"Tallan, you are more beautiful than I ever imagined. Your breasts, your hips," he said as he feathered his large hands over each inch of her skin, pinching each beaded nipple between his thumb and forefinger until the peaks stiffened to tight points of aching flesh, eliciting moans and groans from them both. Luke bent his head to the softness of her breast, taking one stiff, straining nipple into his mouth, hot against her swollen globes and sensitive nipples as they thrust hard against his tongue. Gently, he swirled his tongue around the base of the tight bud, then lightly grazed its edge with his teeth.
His soft moan sent shivers of need though her body, set her legs to trembling as he continued the exquisite torture over her other breast. Luke tightened his hold on the thickness of her waist, holding her up when she felt as if her legs had turned to jelly. She could spend the entire night right there, him sucking, eternally sucking the sensitive peaks with her writhing beneath his hands. Nothing she'd ever known before came close to the feel of his mouth on her voluptuous, soft body. Nothing.
She shifted, widened her stance a little in an attempt to regain some of her balance lest she topple over right there, and began to stroke his short, dark hair as involuntary sounds of pleasure escaped her throat. Her chest heaved with deep and difficult breaths as he trailed the tips of his fingers down each side of her body, exploring every curve and valley, combining the sensations of his mouth and hands over her flesh, nearly driving her over the edge right then and there.
"Luke. I can't take it. I can't..."
When he got to the over-heated apex between her thighs, he said only, "Shhhh, it's okay..." then dropped to his knees in front of her. He paused without pulling away, pressed his head against her belly and closed his eyes, his labored breathing evening out a little, the pause of his ministrations helping her quiet her own overwhelming desire. The momentary reprieve didn't last long.
Luke placed soft kisses first on the bottom of her stomach, groaning and growling as he went, his fingers digging into her hips as if it were all he had to hold himself back, remain in control. She wanted to spread her legs for him, but his grasp on her hips forced her to stand still, not move without his consent as he traced his tongue and kisses over her thighs, her mound, her lips, before he looked up at her, dark eyes flashing with the intensity of his own need.

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Monday, 4 September 2017

Masturbation Monday: If only you felt the same

If only you felt the same

After making sure the door was locked I hurriedly ripped my trousers and boxer shorts off, reached under the bed, grabbed what I needed and flop down on my back. Wrapping my fist around my semi hard cock I began to stroke myself, until I was as hard as possible, before slipping a condom over my cock and lubing myself up.
Only then did I pick up the clear, plastic, toy and grip it tightly in my right hand. Holding my hard shaft at the base with my free hand I placed the tight opening of the toy against the swollen head of my cock, and slowly began to ease it down over my hardness.
The soft inside of the toy moulded itself around me, until it felt as tight as any pussy I had ever fucked. Closing my eyes I began to masturbate slowly, lifting the toy up and down the full length of my shaft, and as I did I began to wish it was your real, beautifully shaved, pussy my cock was buried deep inside, even though I knew it never would be.
The truth was a woman like you, in the position of power you were in, didn't go for guys like me but that just made the fantasy of fucking you even more intense. Seeing you every single day, with your long brunette hair hanging over your shoulders, your skin tight blouse struggling to contain your large, yet perfectly formed, tits and tight micro skirt gripping your round ass meant you were always in my mind.
Gasping as I continued to slowly stroke my cock I knew I wasn't going to last a lot longer, and gripped the toy with both hands. Holding the toy about halfway along my shaft I began to buck wildly, as if I was fucking you as you rode my cock, until I felt my balls tighten in their sac and my body start to tremble.
Holding the toy as tight as I could I bucked my hips wildly, gasped your name and my cock started to twitch. As the first stream of my seed exploded from the slit in my cock a feeling of relief, and contentment, washed over my body. Opening my eyes I lifted my head and watched as I continued stroking my hard shaft, until the last twitch of my cock indicated I had nothing left.
Dropping my head back on to the pillows I released the toy, my hard shaft still throbbing deep inside it. With my heart pounding, as if it was about to explode from my chest, and my breathing very slowly returning to normal I began to think what it would be like if you were there for me to hold, as we both drifted off to sleep, when my mobile started to ring.
Reaching across to the bedside cabinet with my eyes still closed I answered it, only to hear your voice on the other end.
“I want you in the office early tomorrow,” you said, an air of authority in your voice. “We need to talk.”


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