Maid of honour
“You
wanted to see me, Andrew?”
Lifting
my head I stared across the office at Simon, my best friend and
accountant for the last ten years.
“I
did,” I replied. “Have you seen these figures? There's just
something not quite right with them.”
“They
looked fine to me when I filed your taxes last month.”
“Strange
because I knew something wasn't right, and so had another accountant
take a look for me,” I said, before standing up and heading to the
drinks cabinet. “Scotch?”
“Just
a small one, thanks.”
Pouring
his drink I turned and handed him the glass.
“Aren't
you having one?”
“No,
I fancy a coffee,” I replied, as I pressed the button on my desk.
“Coffee for one please.”
A
couple of minutes later the door was tapped lightly.
“Enter.”
Slowly
the door opened and Helena, Simon's long-time fiancee, walked in
wearing nothing more than a red and black lace suspender belt,
fishnet stockings, red stilletos and a maid's lace headband.
“Thank
you.” I said, before turning to Simon. “Have you met my new
maid?”
Turning
his head, and seeing Helena Simon flew out of his chair.
“What
the fuck is going on here?”
“Calm
down, Simon, it's not as bad as it looks,” I replied. “Well
actually it is. I've noticed my books haven't been right for quite
some time so, like I said, I had another accountant look at them.”
“Yes,
you said. But why's Helena here and why the fuck is she dressed like
that?”
Simon's
face was red with rage, and I could see the veins on his neck
pulsating as he spoke.
“Well
can you imagine my surprise when the other accountant told me someone
had been helping themselves to a sizeable chunk of my income over the
last few years.”
“That
still doesn't explain why my fiance is here, virtually naked and
serving you coffee.”
“Well,
as you were the only other person with access to my books, that
someone had to be you.”
“What
the fuck are you talking about? I would never do that. You're my best
friend.”
“That's
what I thought so I had a talk with Helena while you were away, on
what you said was a stag do, last week and to my surprise she knew
nothing about a stag do, but she did know I had given you the weekend
off to go away for a romantic weekend. It's just a shame you forgot
to take her.”
“But
I never touched your damn money,” Simon protested, the colour
slowly draing from his face.
“I
didn't think you would but, once again, it was Helena who set me
straight, telling me about all the lavish meals the two of you had
been out on, the clothes and gifts you had been showering her with.”
“helena
for god's sake get some fucking clothes on,” Simon demanded as he
headed towards the door. “We're leaving. I don't have to put up
with this bullshit.”
Lifting
her head Helena looked towards me, nervously but I just smiled back
at her and nodded.
“Actually,
Simon, I'm going nowhere,” Helena said sternly.
“You
see Simon I told Helena you'd try to get out of this and told her
that, if you walk out of this office, the police will be waiting when
you get home and you will be seeing the inside of a prison cell for a
very long time.” I told him. “Luckily for you though, Helena
begged me not to go to the police, and suggested we came to some sort
of agreement to keep you out of prison.”
“That's
right,” Helena interjected. “I offered to honour your friendship
and help Andrew clear your mess up but, after finding out what you'd
done to me, I decided being Andrew's new maid would embarrass you
more. The fact I'm virtually naked was my idea.”
“Oh,
Simon, by the way,” I chipped in. “You're fired! Now get the fuck
off my property.”
@JSMorbius
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